Suggestions to fix England’s economy
Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing England ‘s economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered – car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university – crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week …..and there’s your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them dDown.
It can’t get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances. If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know. If not, please disregard.